Negativity // Happiness

For my first "real" post I want to talk about how negativity influence our life.
Have you ever noticed it ?

I'm currently reading a book called (and I translate its name in English for you because it is a French book - because yes, I speak French, how cool ? Hum...) "3 Kifs a day" by Florence Servan-Schreiber. I don't know if you, reader, know the meaning of the word "kif" so let me explain it really quick : a "kif" is a nice thing happening in your life, something you enjoy - it can be anything.
Basically, the main idea of this book is to recall, everynight, the 3 main kifs you had during the day. It can be anything really : a good meal, wearing your new shoes, a stranger smiling at you in the street, someone being nice to you... Anything.

At the end of the book, there are a few empty pages, just a few black lines for you to write your kifs down. But you can also just tell them out loud. Our keep them for yourself. Just do it.
I'm forcing myself to do so. Of course, I go a few days without doing it but my goal is to do it every night. It is proven that by doing so, you are rewinding your brain to be happy. Small things can make you as happy as big things would. Trust me. I mean, don't you just feel so happy when you're eating your favorite meal ? When a loved one hugs you ? When someone makes you laugh ?
It's all about the little moments.
My marketing teacher told the class about the book and ask us to read it. So I did. Because I find it interesting, that idea that you can help yourself to be more happy.
This book doesn't just give you ways to be happier, it gives you ways to accept yourself the way you are, to be happy with yourself and your achievement and even your dreams. And this is very important.
It is also full of website and apps you can use, all related to happiness.
If you speak French, please go buy it and read it. It is quite cheap (5.99 euros) and so worth it ! I learned a lot from it and I can't wait to keep reading it. It's a psychology book. No romance, no story. Just many ways to make your life better, to be happier.

Happiness.
Ha. What a beautiful word, isn't it ?
I won't tell you it is easy to be happy. That would be stupid.
Someone I've met once told me that "Happiness is a personal choice" and to be honest, I've never heard such bullshit (Oops, bad word).
I am, sadly, not the kind of person that is going to be a happy little sunshine jumping around every day of the week. I really try though. But I am not a big grey cloud either. I am just me. With my ups and down... And gosh, what is more human than that ?
No one can be happy 24/7. What's wrong with that ?
Let's go back to that beautiful - but silly to me- quote. Even though I would love it to be true, I do not believe it is. There are so many factors to your happiness. You, personally, are one but it's not all.
Outsiders influence your happiness too. Negativity influence your personal happiness. Things that happen to your life : school, grades, family issues, friend issues (and god I have many of those), sports, strangers,... And so many others.
The thing is, we need to learn how to deal with those. We need to learn how to not let them influence us. Not easy, you tell me. Well, no. Nobody says it was (and here's a beautiful song to go with this last sentence. "The scientist" by Coldplay : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8KmhmpaKuk ).

I am not a superhero. I cannot give you magical way to make it all better. But I can tell you this :
Sometime you have a choice. The choice to let that negativity come into your life. We've all met people that were bad to us. Mean people, negative people... If you come up to the realization that a person is making you feel bad about yourself or sad, there is only one thing to do : cut him/her off of your life. Say "Goodbye" to them and throw them away from you. OUT. Because that's all they deserve. Nobody should makes you feel bad nor sad. No. Body. Ever.
Please, please, trust me. You deserve better.
I know this is hard, some of those people could be long-time friend. But you have to ask yourself this : are they going through a phase ? Can I make thing better ? Is that person the reason why I feel so bad ?
Is the answer "yes" ? Of course it is not easy to cut someone out of your life but if it's to make yourself feel better, you should do it. Just make sure that person understand how you feel about it. I mean, who knows ? Maybe your friend is having a hard time but can't manage to talk about it ?
Try to open-up a conversation.
I feel like I am not clear, and if this is the case, I apologize.
The main thing to remember is that if you can act against that negativity, then do so.
I found this two images on the internet and I though they were quite nice :

Of course, change is not easy but it is necessary. 

If you have a problem and you can do something about it, then do it. As hard as it is, it is. And if you know you can't do anything about it, then that's alright. Try not to think too much about it and wait for it to change by itself. 

Another thing that can help you go through hard times is to speak up about it. To your friends, to your family. Anyone. Even a teacher, who knows ?
Don't stay alone in your problem, you will get overwhelmed by it and just end up very sad. Your friends and family can help you go through a lot of things, just by listening to you, giving you advices or even just their opinion.
Don't stay alone.
You're in an argument with your best friends ? Hang out with other friends (I'm sure you do have other friends and they will accept you without questions) while things get better.

If you feel bad or sad for no particular reason - it does happen sometimes - then here's a useful thing I do. It always work and make you feel better about yourself !
Write down things you want to achieve soon or later. It doesn't matter if it's realistic. Write down your dreams, a book you want to buy, a new thing you want to learn.
Once it's done, you will feel better because of those goals. You set up goals that you know are important for you. Goals that can be achieve.

One last thing is to write everything you feel. Write it down. Get your anger or your sadness out of your cute little body. Get it out ! 

I assure your, you will feel 100% better !

I am still trying to be better, to be happier. I try everyday.
Lots of things help me when I'm feeling down. Writing is one. Reading, drawing, listening to music, talking to friends, watching a tv-show... If you are sad, do one of your hobby.

I hope this post helps you.
Give me your opinion, or advice if you have some, in the comments, I would love to here them ! 

XoXo